Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
