One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I have fence marks all over my body
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
