You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
