there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
