There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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