I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
