): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
