I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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