I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
