I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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