He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
