she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
