he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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