Christians are straight up FREAKS
You're my little dorito
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Is her dick bigger than yours?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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