I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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