Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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