I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
