Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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