I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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