Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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