In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
