They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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