Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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