I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
