Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We don't watch enough power rangers
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
