so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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