so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
