I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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