Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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