I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
