How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
