we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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