Is it normal to miss your booty call?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Randomize
