Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
