My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
