Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
