The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
