hotel room ftw
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Welp...herpes.
she looked like the before picture.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
