Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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