They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
