I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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