He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
