this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I love you. Go after that dick
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