i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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