Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I love you. Go after that dick
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
