fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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