He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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