Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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