so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i will never coherently bang her
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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