Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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