Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
