Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
