i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Drake has all the answers
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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