so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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