More tranny stories later!
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
