he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
