I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
