I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
