Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
