; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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