6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
